MY FAILURE STORY 3

rsz_1picsart_1459820801148MY FAILURE STORY 3

We will all have to live with the consequences of our choices whether we made them ignorantly or not. Failure may come to anyone but to see yourself as a failure is your prerogative. You alone choose that one.

After my experience with the counselor (read part 2), and I was admitted into the sciences, I began my academic struggles. From SSI to SS3 (Grade 10-12), I battled hard to stay afloat. Success was now difficult. Unlike my JSS days when I rarely read (I just listened in class and thought my way through answers. Psychology? Perhaps) now I had to bother much about equations and theories. Michael Faraday, Einstein and Archimedes were living lives which they chose to live. Why was I now compelled to find their Xs and Ms which I didn’t misplace? But I wanted to be Doctor Mike so my choices were limited.

I will always be inspired by guys like Femi Eyetan. He came across to me as one of those kids born with a book. He was playful but even when he played good grades seemed to seek him out. I was therefore surprised when Hakeem Badmus told me Femi had changed from the sciences to Arts or Social sciences. That was preposterous! Femi was the next Albert Einstein as far as I was concerned. Well now, I begin to think his mother, who was an educationist as well as a teacher in my school then, was instrumental to the making of that decision. Femi wanted to be an accountant I gathered. Fancy making good career moves early.

Well back to Doctor Mike. I ran my course like the common cold. SS1 to SS3. While guys like Tayo Olawepoo did quite well in sciences, I discovered I began to struggle. I still did better than many people, no doubt, but I was average. This was not the me I used to know. At the end of our SS3 exams, I did fairly well. I had a couple of As, Cs. Outstanding were the Ps in Mathematics, Chemistry and Physics. Luckily for me, my father had registered me for GCE exams which were due to hold in November 1995. That was a smart move. Don’t put all your academic eggs in one basket (am I talking to someone?)

I graduated.

It was now preparation time for GCE. I read on my own. I really gave it my best shot. I used to read at State Polytechnic Yola back then. I was going to turn the tables this time. It was a tough time, but I was disciplined. Thank God I didn’t have to contend with the modern-day distractions of cell phones and all what not. But I had distractions all the same which I managed quite well.

Examination day came and I was ready. I had prepared hard. I was ready for Gay-Lussac, Galileo, Faraday and Einstein all put together. I was going to beat them at their own game. I had devised means to discover their missing property- their Xs, Ys and their MC2s. I did well during the exams. Even I knew. Until my last day, that is. I had Physics that day. I was all set. I was finally beginning to feel like Femi Eyetan or Jokotola Kemi. It was going to be a walkover. But when I opened the question paper, something happened to me. I went blank! I suddenly became clueless. As clueless as people have accused our governments of becoming. Then I began to cry. God recognizes tears, unfortunately WAEC does not. I knew I had to do something. So I began to shade. Anything! I was already down, I feared no fall. Finally, amidst silent sobs, I finished. I answered the essay part and submitted my script. Caution: Not everyone that submits their paper early knows what they wrote! I must have looked like a smart guy to those other students because I finished about 30 minutes before the best of them. I confess that I never read some of those questions. Guess work ruled the day.

Exam over, I cried wee, wee, wee all the way home like one of those little pigs in the nursery rhyme. My sister Chinyere Adeyemo and my dear mother tried hard to console me. I had lost all motivation to go for the last paper that evening. They finally managed to convince me to go for my evening paper-Agricultural science. Thankfully, I had an A in that one.

When the results were released, I can still picture Elisha Sunday (he went to WAEC office to check my results. We didn’t do online back then) lying on the floor distraught. He felt bad for me. But I was feeling sorry for him. He couldn’t bear to see me fail yet I couldn’t bear to see him looking defeated. Talk about crying more than the bereaved! But I do not blame him. He was a big brother. He watched my back. He knew my stuff. I was the smartest kid in the block. But I had failed again. Archimedes, Robert Boyle and Albert Einsteen, their cousin, had conspired against me.

I had failed again. But I’m still standing today. You know why? I’ll tell you without a consultation fee – each time I encounter failure, I fail forward!

I am Michael Nwangwa. And I have failed countless times.

Watch out for part 4.

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MY FAILURE STORY 2

Upon resumption during midterm break in my SS1, I needed to go to the guidance and counseling department to assign me to a class (Lost? Refer to my first post with this same title). The practice then was to get all the children together and move them into different arms of classes depending on their performance in Jss3. The best students were most likely to get into science classes. Most of us accepted it. The world sold us a lie, our parents bred us in the lie and we bought it. We believed Science students were smarter than Arts students. The years have since proven us wrong.

So I still remember the day I met the counselor lady. She told me she didn’t think I could cope if I joined the Science class. She suggested me joining Arts or Social Sciences. That was when my dam of tears broke. I remembered how my parents could not afford my school fees; I was almost blaming them. I was afraid my life was about to be ruined if I went along with her suggestion. I was about to be sentenced to the Arts. That was worthy of eliciting tears. Well, I cried well and she gave in. I had won the battle of her mind. She allowed me to join SS1 Gold. I was now in the sciences. Yipee!

But as I would discover later, that was one of the worst decisions of my life. I should have just gone to the Arts because I am a man of the Arts. Society forced me into her mould and I allowed it. This message of career choice, purpose etc. were not known to me then so I acted based on what I knew. The result was that I came 7th to last that term (35th out of 42). Interestingly, I was the best in English language. That was my strength.

That decision affected my life a lot and I struggled all through Senior secondary school. I was just average.

I want to speak to those reading this today. Whether you are a parent or guardian, please encourage your wards along their strength lines. It is better to build their career around their abilities. Don’t force your Child to read the Medicine JAMB did not allow you read. You need to be futuristic in your thinking. Who would have thought years ago that Programming, ICT, music, comedy, public speaking would be money raking today? Talent never fails. Just be trained to monetize it.

I have had to live with the scar of the injury my wrong choice delivered to me. I have been empty knowing I was not in my place of assignment. About 17 years later I had to go do a Masters degree in Communication management. I just had to fight back. It gave me a sense of fulfilment, but the truth is I still lament for the wasted years. I am a lot wiser now as a father of two boys so, yes, I can speak as a father to the younger ones: Get it right the first time. It will save you a lot of pain.

However, despite my wrong choice, in spite of my failings, I’m glad to say I am not a failure. I have failed, but I am not a failure. Each time I look at my scars, I get a message that will prevent others from failing.

It’s okay to fail. But when you do, fail forward.

I am Michael Nwangwa and I care about you.

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MY FAILURE STORY 1

I was well exposed academically at an early age. I got interested in reading from my days at University of Lagos Staff School. We used to have reading periods where all kinds of books were brought from the university library for us. We would read, return and pick a fresh one. Reading was made fun.

I have had to attend about four schools from Nursery to Primary school. Sometimes I have to skip one or two while filling out forms because most forms leave you with space for 2 or so primary schools. I guess that’s the number for normal people. I am supra normal.

I have always been self confident, maybe over confident, about knowledge I had. I always aimed for the best. I argued with my teachers in primary school, especially in the subject English language. My mother did a good job as she taught me to consult the dictionary for myself pretty early. I still remember Chinyere Adeyemo and I had MICHAEL WEST and THOMAS NELSON dictionaries as our first.

Fast forward to secondary school. Command Secondary School Jos . My grades were great from year1. I still remember how I cried when I came 3rd. It was like my world had come crashing down. During our JSS exams, I had the best result in my school. This earned me an award from the Directorate of Army education that oversaw my school then. I was excited.

Transiting from JS3 to SS1 (grade 9-10 in some climes) was not a walk in the park. My parents could not afford to send me to school on time. If you’ve not been there before, you wouldn’t understand how demoralizing it is for a father, much more a child. Your child is deprived of education because of impecunity. It’s not a place to be.

Finally, when the world had given up I would go back to that school, my parents raised the funds and I went back to school-during midterm. I had lost so much ground. Being the best student in Js3 and wanting to be a medical doctor Elisha Sunday can identify with that, I insisted, despite advice from our school counselor that i would do sciences. She obliged.

By the end of the term, I came 35th out of about 42 people. The only thing I am still amazed at today is who those 7 people I beat were. And they were in class all term long?

The summary is that I failed. And woefully too. I fell headlong from the very top. That was supposed to be my albatross, my end. But I survived. It was hard, but I came back. I failed but I was not a failure. I felt rejected, stupid and retarded. But those feelings did not define me.

Are you going through a failure bout? I’ve been there and have got your back. If you forget anything, do not forget that FAILURE IS AN EVENT AND NOT A PERSON.

This is my failure story. Would you like to share yours? Please go ahead.IMG_20160508_102627

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TRUST ISSUES (PART 2) (singles and married)

This is my concluding lecture in this season of Love School. In the last post a few hours ago, I talked of the tight-rope walker who displayed his skills while the crowd cheered on. They believed he could do it all. However, when he asked for a volunteer to carry across the rope, they declined. They couldn’t trust him with their lives.
Despite the love, the effort, the knowledge, the skill, the romance, the material comfort that may exist in your relationship, if there is no trust, all the afore mentioned could be rendered irrelevant.

We must commit to trusting our partners.

There are three reasons why people will find it hard to trust:

1. If they are not straightforward themselves.
2. If they have had their trust let down by others in the past.
3. If they have had their trust let down by you, their partner, in the past.

When you know you are not trustworthy, it is likely you will find it hard to trust people. You will likely think everyone else is like you. That is not good for any relationship. In that case, the problem is not the other party, the problem is you.

If your trust has been let down by others in the past, it might be hard to trust anyone else. It is like being caught up in a polluted air situation where you inhaled poisonous substance and you escaped by a hair’s breadth. Will it be alright for you never to breathe in oxygen again? You need to move on and trust. You will need to be careful but you must realize that you need a level of vulnerability to make a relationship work.

If you, the spouse, has failed in the past and betrayed trust, you must realize it will be difficult for the other party to trust you again. You need to work hard at regaining their confidence. They might forgive you instantly, but it will take them a while to trust you again.

Without trust, the relationship will not work.

We need to work on our trust levels. We might be on either sides of the divide. But trust is essential for any relationship to work. Our situation might fall into any of the three classes above but you can work on it.

I believe when both parties are committed to making things work, we can boost our trust levels.

I have seen situations where a spouse calls the other half and asks questions like: “Where are you now?” or “Who is with you?” It can be very irritating. Those people will have issues. Any of three things could have happened:

1. The spouse being monitored has gone to wrong places or had wrong associations in the past.
2. The monitoring partner has the tendency to do what he is trying to prevent.
3. There are already unresolved issues in that relationship.

One day a girl called her boyfriend and asked where he was. He happened to be in the office with us. She insisted on talking with one of us and he gave me the phone. I indulged them and spoke with her that day. Obviously he had told her about me. If it had been now, I can’t vouch I’d be that patronizing. I might just have scolded her for not having trust for her partner.

I have never doubted whatever my wife told me she was doing at any point in time. I have never bothered to ask to speak with anyone else to confirm if she was actually there. Same goes for her.
What if you discover your spouse lied? Will you get an award? Or will you have a headache?
Trust is more about you. It breeds peace. It keeps you sane. Finally, it will be reciprocated by the other party because in my revised version, every good turn attracts another.

Thanks for reading. As usual, we’ll love to read your comments and questions.

Mike.

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TRUST ISSUES (PART 1) (singles and married)

The story is told of a tight-rope walker who performed all sorts of stunts. One day, after a much-advertised show, a large crowd had gathered to watch him perform. His fame had spread abroad so no one had doubts about his abilities.

His first stunt was to walk across a rope 500metres long, which was tied from one high-rise building to another. The crowd was in a frenzy as he walked across. Slowly, at first, then quickly. This guy was good. In no time, he had walked across. There was loud applause and cheering from the crowd. “Now, I’m going to walk across the rope with a wheel barrow. Do you believe I can do it?” “Yes you can, we believe!” The crowd responded. He walked across the rope with the wheel barrow as if he were walking on tracks. “My next act for today is to walk on the ropes with a wheelbarrow and 3 large cats. Do you believe I can do it?” “Yes” the crowd yelled. So he walked across carefully with the wheelbarrow.

Finally he announced. “My last act for tonight. I will walk across the rope with a wheel barrow with someone in it. Do you believe I can do it?” The crowd thundered: “Yes you can.” “Okay then. I need a volunteer.” The arena went silent. You could hear a pin drop. They had faith in him. But they couldn’t trust him with their lives.

Many of the issues that break relationships both amongst singles and married people are trust issues. Join me later at 10:00pm for the concluding part of this talk.

Mike.

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COMMUNICATION FOR THE MARRIED (LOVE SCHOOL)

Communication is a two-way street. It must come from both parties to make it effective. It is a function of deliberate resolve to listen to the other party and try to see things from their perspective. You may not necessarily agree with them. But communication is hearing them out and presenting your own angle as well. Remember that 6 and 9 are both correct, depending on which side you’re viewing it from.

Communication is not a war. Sometimes, you will discover that even though you’ve believed something all your life, you might be wrong and your spouse right.

If you don’t let it out through your mouth, how will your spouse know what you’re thinking about? How will they know if you’re angry at them? It is better to talk about it than frown about it.

Before marriage, we encourage young people to talk to each other. Unfortunately, after marriage, we take a lot of things for granted. We’re not ready to push to talk perhaps because we don’t want an argument. We just sit back, frown, sulk, throw tantrums etc.

Marriage is a lifelong institution. It is a school. Your spouse is your colleague or co-student. Fancy being in a school and not interacting with anybody, especially when interaction carries the highest points! We must talk about it, whether we feel like it or not; whether the other party likes talking or not. It is worse not to talk about it.

Spouses change. It may be due to a new lifestyle, new challenges, move to a new location, starting a new job, or just a change in the state of their minds. The declaration: “I am the Lord, I change not” is for God alone. So don’t be surprised when your boyfriend of yesterday acts strangely or reacts differently to issues. He can’t be the same forever else he’ll be a monument. Likewise don’t be surprised when your once bubbly girlfriend becomes a different person. The responsibilities of marriage may have taken a toll on her mind. You know, before you got married, she didn’t need to think much about certain things. She picked the restaurants you went to, the fun places you visited, the movies you watched…but now, she has RESPONSIBILITY. Yes. Meals to prepare, laundry to do, puke to clean up, poo to wipe off…. It will be unfair to judge him or her with who they were before marriage. What we should be doing is talk about it. That is communication.

I hope we work on it. Take time out and spend time talking with your other half. Don’t get tired of working on it. Ask them (gently please) why they acted the way they did. Throw up strange behavior when you notice it. But be ready to accept your own faults too because you may be responsible for their changing behavior! Your spouse might be reacting to something you have done.

Don’t give up on communication. Over time you will reap the reward. It won’t be a smooth ride from day one and it will require equal commitment from both husband and wife. But in the end, communication will win.

Mike.

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TALK, TALK, TALK (SINGLES’ CLASS)

Yesterday, Chinyere emphasized the importance of communication in any relationship. You need to understand that the length of time you have spent a relationship does not necessarily translate to its success. What that means is that the fact that you have spent 5 years in a relationship does not mean you know your partner like your friend who is just a year on.

Have you been talking? Have you been listening? Remember that talking alone is not relationship. You must learn to listen too. If you are always right and your word is Law, it means one of two things. Either the people around you are completely stupid or they just want to let you be. Don’t underestimate the power of communication.

You need to learn to express your feelings. Speak out else you might bottle up hurts over time. This can result in an implosion which could have negative effect on the relationship. Smetimes the other party is not willing to talk. Enjoy each other’s company instead and you do the talking that day instead of filling the whole day’s conversation with: “Why are you not talking?” Is he or She a parrot?

What do you talk about? Talk about your future. Talk about everything you could ever imagine. If you are just getting to know each other, I don’t expect you to ask how many children she will have for you. You have not even proposed! But when you are certain you want to spend the rest of your lives together, you need to dig deep.

Talk about your families. You need to ask questions. Is there any recurrent ailment in the family line? Find out the history of your in-laws to be. What is the past of your spouse? The past is gone, some people say. Yet sometimes it comes back to haunt our future if not properly handled. You need to face it really. If the truth is found out in the future, it could have devastating consequences. Has she/he had other relationships? What led to the break-up? It’s important because it might equally lead to your break-up too.

What are your likes/dislikes? What about kids? How many would you want to have? Who should stay with us when we get married? How do we treat in-laws from both sides? How do we spend money? You can develop your own list. In asking these questions, you don’t need to act like an investigator trying to uncover a massive fraud; It might make the other party uncomfortable. You might instead make a mental note of it and ask your friend the questions when the time and place are right for it.

In all, be very sensitive. Don’t hesitate to call off any relationship if you feel it will disrupt the future you have pictured. It’s better called off now than after four kids. That leaves in its wake regret, sorrow and pain. Remember too that many young lives will be affected then because of the wrong choice you are about to make now.

Don’t forget to talk about personality, the influence of friends and family on your marriage. Ask about their blood group, Genotype and general health status. Keep your eyes open for anything unusual.

A friend of mine years ago had had several abortions in a past relationship. She broke up with the guy because the relationship had become all sexual and no brains. Another young man was interested in her and kept pestering her for a relationship. One day, while they were discussing something else, she asked him if he can marry someone who has had several abortions. His reply was something like: “God Forbid!” She knew instantly that was not her man. Sometimes, you don’t even need to pray about certain things. The answer you get to a question might just be your prayer answered.

Let us have your comments and questions as usual. Then don’t forget to share.

Mike.

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APPRECIATION (PART 2) (CLASS FOR THE MARRIED)

Yesterday we were on the ladies’ side as we advocated better regard and appreciation from their husbands. I could sense that smile of satisfaction spreading across the face of womenfolk. You know, it’s like when during a message in church as the pastor preaches, you hear one zealous brother or sister keep shouting: “Tell them pastor!” First you wish they’d just be quiet. Then you wonder whether any part of the message will be for the zealot after pastor has told “them” everything.

So today, we won’t let the women alone shout: “Tell them pastor!” We’ll give the men the opportunity to shout too. After all, we talk of gender equality. Right?

Women should appreciate their husbands more. You have no idea what men go through sometimes. I know the woman’s CV. She multitasks, is a homemaker, carries a child for 9months, breastfeeds for 6months, has to submit to the husband, gives up her name and family for him etc. You don’t need to remind me. I read that CV often.

So let’s take yesterday’s story to the other extreme. You need to read my post to the married yesterday to appreciate this.

The wife felt she was overworked. The husband was not supportive, allowed her to do everything, and had turned her into an errand girl. She did school runs, market runs, kitchen runs and bedroom runs. So she asked God to intervene. “Dear God, She prayed. Turn me into a man. At least all I’ll do is work, eat, have sex, watch TV and sleep. That is a predictable routine. If you do that for me, I’ll be happy for the rest of my life.” So God graciously reengineered her that night and she became a man.

He woke up next morning with a headache. His wife had told him the previous day that there was no food in the house. They were out of this and out of that. “Dear God, take me to that land of abundance,” he prayed. “Honey”, she called out as she greeted him good morning. His heart skipped a bit. He recognized that voice when she was about to give him bad news. “The School has asked us to pay the children’s fees before the end of this week.” His heart sank. He asked God a quick question: “When will this world end?”

He didn’t hear much of what she said again that morning as he began to strategize on what to do. All he knew is that she was preparing the kids for school. As he stepped out, with the corner of his eye, he saw that the electricity meter was reading 10 units. Not again! He got to work that day and tried his best. He had a woman for a boss. It seemed like she had grown up in a dysfunctional family which resulted in her sadistic nature. She was just impossible. “If not that I have a family to take care of, I wouldn’t take this nonsense from a woman.” He usually felt that way whenever she had washed him with insults like you will wash a dirty wall.

It was 2pm. His wife called. “Honey,” Not again! He waited for the bombshell. “Please I didn’t remember the baby food and diapers are finished. I’m using the last one now. Please buy when you are coming back.” Did she even ask if he had money? He borrowed N30,000 from Tony. Tony would always say what are friends for? Yet never failed to charge interest on any money he loaned out. He had to stop over at the mall to buy the things requested.

Just when he was close to the house, she called again. “Dear” He had lost his patience now. “Just tell me the problem” he cut in. She replied “Why are you sounding like this? But we are not quarreling now. I just want to plead with you to help us buy some fuel for the generator. Use the jerry can in the boot. Then please stop over at Mama Joy’s shop (she even tells you where to go) and buy an energy saver bulb. Please let them give you the original. The last one you bought did not last long.” She could sense a silence of displeasure at the other end. “Please my dear, our breadwinner!” By now he had already turned to go to the filling station for the fuel. He asked himself. Is this bread winner cognomen supposed to be a death sentence?

He bought the fuel and got home. She didn’t remember to say thank you. After all, it was his responsibility. He turned the fuel, put on the generator, changed the dead bulb, and almost stumbled on the toys on the floor, endured noise from the kids. He had only one thing on his mind.

During prayers that night, he knelt down with two hands raised above his head and prayed only one prayer. “Dear God, please turn me back into a woman!

That is a hilarious presentation of what men go through.

Dear woman, please appreciate your husband. Thank him for little things he does. Ask if there’s anything you can do to ease his stress.

Buy him gifts. Support him if you sense he needs help. Like someone said to ladies: “Take your husband’s account number and pay money into it. You will not die!”

A little appreciation will go a long way in keeping your husband’s “mumu button” constantly activated.

Please let us have your comments and remember to share.

Mike

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FRIENDSHIP ABUSED LOVE SCHOOL (SINGLES’ CLASS)

I hope we learnt a few things from yesterday’s post about friendship. Today, we’ll talk a little more on friendship. What better experience to share than mine! At least, it’s original to me.

I was in my final year in school. Exams were over and i was just tidying up on my project. I was the lead vocalist in my music group back then. One Sunday, we performed a piece in church. The song was dear to me as I had written it. After church, a girl walked up to me and introduced herself to me. “Hi, my name is Mimi (Not her real name), the very pretty girl said as she held out her hand for a handshake. I was surprised and disarmed by her calm disposition and charm. We talked for a few minutes (every other important meeting waits for a pretty girl) and I asked her to ensure she greeted me when next she came to church.

I was away for a while as I was preparing for my first book launch then, so I didn’t see her for a couple of weeks. We never met in church again until one day I bumped into her on campus. Once again, my heart stopped beating for a fraction of eternity. It’s amazing how these things happen. Your heart isn’t beating and you’re smiling sheepishly to a pretty girl. She apologized and gave an excuse I can’t remember now. She gave me her phone number and we parted. You can bet that phone number wouldn’t get missing even if it fell into a shark’s mouth. I’d have managed to get it out somehow, even without the paper getting wet!

Over the next couple of weeks, we talked about lots of things. She visited me several times. I really liked this girl. And to think this was the time when the average “Christian brother” was looking out for a relationship. She saw me as a friend, a big brother. She shared her pains with me. Her poems, her creativity. We would talk for hours and I wouldn’t want the visit to end. Even LG would envy me. Life was Good.

Eventually I was done with school and had to leave so I sought ways to share my heart with her. How I felt she was the one I loved, bla bla bla. That was when our friendship began to deteriorate….

She began avoiding me, she started ignoring my calls. I had lost a friend. Well, we didn’t eventually get to marry (obviously) but when I look back today, I felt I could have handled it better. I feel there were other things God wanted me to accomplish in her which I lost sight of due to personal ambition. Not every friend is meant to become a lover.

We have put ourselves in a box. So when you don’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend, you feel you are not normal. My dear, you look normal to me. We could muddle up valuable life relationships when we mistake them for love relationships.

Think about it. If you were to love every pretty girl you met, do you think you’ll still be sane? Unfortunately, many young men cut this not-so-sane picture to me. Girl, if every young man was prince charming and he had to be your lover boy, do you think your members will still be intact? We get distracted and lose out eventually when we try to capture love at all cost at the expense of friendship.

What to do? Don’t make the mistake I made. Critically analyze these relationships with the opposite sex. A lot of them will be beneficial later in life. Avoid putting yourself up for vulnerability, though. Note that some relationships are better cancelled for life. Let wisdom direct you.

Reflections
Have you had an experience similar to mine?
Would you like to share it? Please do.
What do you think you could have done differently?
Are there other lessons you learnt from my story?
How do we know when not to press for a love relationship?

As usual, send in your comments. Please hit the like button and share this post.

Mike.

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APPRECIATION (Part 1) LOVE SCHOOL (CLASS FOR MARRIEDS)

My wife is such a wonderful person. She does amazing things every day. Her good deeds are so amazing that I sometimes take them for granted; I forget to say thank you; when I do, I mutter the thank you under my breath. Yet she just keeps at it, doing amazing things. It’s either she is an angel from heaven or I’m the alien from Pluto.

Before you hurl that log you’re holding at me. Hold a second. I’m not alone in this. Sometimes, we take love for granted. We get so used to a loved one that we simply forget to appreciate them.

Husbands don’t take their time to appreciate their wives ad vice-versa.

Maybe part of the reason is that we really think we’re working harder than our other half!

Did you hear of the guy who felt he was working too hard for his family? He was angry that his wife really did nothing all day except to laze around and feed fat on his sweat. So, one day he couldn’t take it anymore. He asked God to turn him into a woman. At least she would suffer what he suffers and would sit up subsequently.

God graciously answered his prayer and he woke up a woman. He had to run around and prepare breakfast for the kids. Then he had to run after them to take their bath and get them set for school. Just when he had dressed them up and was about to take them to await the school bus, the last born shouted: “Mummy, I want to poo.” So off went the clothes and King Arthur took the next 20minutes to poo. While they were at it, the husband (who was the wife the previous day) took his briefcase, without trying to help in any case and rushed out for work.

The new wife finally managed to catch the bus with the 3 boys and waved them goodbye. Back home, she hurriedly began to clean the house, then do the laundry, then prepare lunch. She checked the time. It was already past 2pm. She had to pick up the kids by 2pm. When they came back from school, everyone knew they were back. The house was in a shambles in 3minutes. All she had labored to arrange. She cried her heart out. “Why are you kids doing this to me?” As if they would understand.

At last, after they had done their homework and eaten, she managed to get them to take a nap. She rushed to prepare dinner. Soon the Lord of the house, her husband was around. He waited for her to carry his briefcase and give her a cup of cold water. Then he went to take his bath. He had barely sat down when he began asking: Is the food not ready yet? She bit her lip as she managed to prepare the food in a hurry. In the process, she broke a plate and cut her finger. Finally she got the food to “King Kong” who did nothing but just eat and watch TV thereafter.

Then she had to put the kids to bed and wash all the dishes while her husband still watched TV. So annoying!

By 11pm, after a long day, she managed to take a shower and drag herself into bed. King Kong wanted sex. She obliged, angrily, though she didn’t show it. He was asleep in 3minutes.

She faced the wall like Hezekiah and prayed with all her heart.” Dear God, my wife is a machine. I will appreciate her every single day I’m alive. I’ll be dead in 3days if I continued with this routine. Please change me back into a man and I will serve you for the rest of my life.” She was so glad to hear the voice of God until she heard His Words: “My daughter, that prayer is out of place now. You have to wait for 9months. You just got pregnant tonight!”

Your wife should be appreciated. Thank her for those little things. Buy her gifts. Even little gifts. Just to let her know you care. Help out with the kids or other chores. Just make her feel less like a slave. Be sensitive to her feelings and don’t just watch football all evening as if you are Ronaldo. If Ronaldo watched football half as much as you do, he’d never find time to play!

The key thing is appreciate, appreciate, and appreciate her. Love that woman. She is yours for life.

Reflections.

• Do I appreciate my wife for all she does?
• What areas am I found wanting?
• What will I do to make things better henceforth?
• Have a chat with her to know where you can improve.

I’ve been on the side of the ladies tonight. Tomorrow, I’m on the men’s team.

Until then, let’s have your reactions and questions.

Mike.

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