APPRECIATION (PART 2) (CLASS FOR THE MARRIED)

Yesterday we were on the ladies’ side as we advocated better regard and appreciation from their husbands. I could sense that smile of satisfaction spreading across the face of womenfolk. You know, it’s like when during a message in church as the pastor preaches, you hear one zealous brother or sister keep shouting: “Tell them pastor!” First you wish they’d just be quiet. Then you wonder whether any part of the message will be for the zealot after pastor has told “them” everything.

So today, we won’t let the women alone shout: “Tell them pastor!” We’ll give the men the opportunity to shout too. After all, we talk of gender equality. Right?

Women should appreciate their husbands more. You have no idea what men go through sometimes. I know the woman’s CV. She multitasks, is a homemaker, carries a child for 9months, breastfeeds for 6months, has to submit to the husband, gives up her name and family for him etc. You don’t need to remind me. I read that CV often.

So let’s take yesterday’s story to the other extreme. You need to read my post to the married yesterday to appreciate this.

The wife felt she was overworked. The husband was not supportive, allowed her to do everything, and had turned her into an errand girl. She did school runs, market runs, kitchen runs and bedroom runs. So she asked God to intervene. “Dear God, She prayed. Turn me into a man. At least all I’ll do is work, eat, have sex, watch TV and sleep. That is a predictable routine. If you do that for me, I’ll be happy for the rest of my life.” So God graciously reengineered her that night and she became a man.

He woke up next morning with a headache. His wife had told him the previous day that there was no food in the house. They were out of this and out of that. “Dear God, take me to that land of abundance,” he prayed. “Honey”, she called out as she greeted him good morning. His heart skipped a bit. He recognized that voice when she was about to give him bad news. “The School has asked us to pay the children’s fees before the end of this week.” His heart sank. He asked God a quick question: “When will this world end?”

He didn’t hear much of what she said again that morning as he began to strategize on what to do. All he knew is that she was preparing the kids for school. As he stepped out, with the corner of his eye, he saw that the electricity meter was reading 10 units. Not again! He got to work that day and tried his best. He had a woman for a boss. It seemed like she had grown up in a dysfunctional family which resulted in her sadistic nature. She was just impossible. “If not that I have a family to take care of, I wouldn’t take this nonsense from a woman.” He usually felt that way whenever she had washed him with insults like you will wash a dirty wall.

It was 2pm. His wife called. “Honey,” Not again! He waited for the bombshell. “Please I didn’t remember the baby food and diapers are finished. I’m using the last one now. Please buy when you are coming back.” Did she even ask if he had money? He borrowed N30,000 from Tony. Tony would always say what are friends for? Yet never failed to charge interest on any money he loaned out. He had to stop over at the mall to buy the things requested.

Just when he was close to the house, she called again. “Dear” He had lost his patience now. “Just tell me the problem” he cut in. She replied “Why are you sounding like this? But we are not quarreling now. I just want to plead with you to help us buy some fuel for the generator. Use the jerry can in the boot. Then please stop over at Mama Joy’s shop (she even tells you where to go) and buy an energy saver bulb. Please let them give you the original. The last one you bought did not last long.” She could sense a silence of displeasure at the other end. “Please my dear, our breadwinner!” By now he had already turned to go to the filling station for the fuel. He asked himself. Is this bread winner cognomen supposed to be a death sentence?

He bought the fuel and got home. She didn’t remember to say thank you. After all, it was his responsibility. He turned the fuel, put on the generator, changed the dead bulb, and almost stumbled on the toys on the floor, endured noise from the kids. He had only one thing on his mind.

During prayers that night, he knelt down with two hands raised above his head and prayed only one prayer. “Dear God, please turn me back into a woman!

That is a hilarious presentation of what men go through.

Dear woman, please appreciate your husband. Thank him for little things he does. Ask if there’s anything you can do to ease his stress.

Buy him gifts. Support him if you sense he needs help. Like someone said to ladies: “Take your husband’s account number and pay money into it. You will not die!”

A little appreciation will go a long way in keeping your husband’s “mumu button” constantly activated.

Please let us have your comments and remember to share.

Mike

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